Sunday, May 9, 2010

So, uni on hold

No posts because uni is on hold, but im going to use this to keep updating with things I find motivational.

"Well, before I went to undergrad, I was homeless. I was 17 years old and hadn't been in school since I was 12 (I was home schooled and my parents divorced). I had no transcripts, no GED, and no family in the state. Some friends of mine were visiting a university in a neighboring state and I joined them. I discovered that because my mother (whom I hadn't spoken with in a year) lived in that state, I could get grants to go there. I returned to the broken-down Pontiac Grand Am I was sleeping in, determined to go to that university. The first thing I had to do was get a GED. The nearest testing site was over 20 miles away. I didn't have any friends who were willing to drive me there, and as previously mentioned, the car was broken down. So I walked there, took the first days test, and walked most of the way back before a cop picked me up because he'd heard reports of someone walking down the side of the interstate. Fortunately, the cop took mercy on me and drove me to my broke-down car.

A friend heard about what I had done and graciously drove me to the testing site the next day. I finished the GED and prepared to go to the university.

I showed up at the university with 10$, a GED, no transcripts, and no ACT or SAT. The university said I could sleep in the dorms for the night, but they wouldn't know if they could accept me until I took the ACT the next morning (!). I couldn't sleep that night. I hadn't had any formal schooling since I was 12 and I'd never studied for the ACT in my life. I took the test and scored a 28 (damn that 18 in math...). I was in. I couldn't afford textbooks for the first 3 semesters, but I borrowed them from friends when I could and worked hard. I managed a 3.0 after the first three semesters and finally got enough money to buy books. I graduated with a 3.34 and because of my LSAT scores, I received a scholarship to go to law school. I am now about to be a 3L, a year away from being an attorney.

Throughout my educational journey, the 20+ mile walk to get my GED has served as a microcosm of sorts. I was tired, so tired, but I just focused on taking that next step knowing that I was one step closer to where I wanted to be. The thought of my younger siblings pushed me forward. I knew that if I could make it, then they would look to my example and pursue an education as well. As I write this, my youngest brother, now 17, is sleeping in the next room. He lives with me and I am guiding his educational journey. I helped him get his GED and he was recently accepted to a state university where he will major in biology. He aspires to be a doctor.

tl;dr I was homeless with little education and I had to walk over 20 miles to get my GED. I put myself through college and now I'm almost done with law school. I am now helping my brother reach his educational goals as well."





"I am doing this AMA with some misgivings. I am a private person and have never discussed my history. I also expect you all to be skeptical, because I have no pictures to prove my story (we never had a camera and the few pics I have of my childhood were takn outside the slums). All I can say is, I am doing this because I need to let this out. And preferably not to anyone I know or work with.

I expect to cover my actual slum life through your questions, so I will provide the before and after stories. My parents were naive and foolish in their youth. They moved to Delhi from West Bengal when they were both 20 and still college students. They had fallen out with their families over reasons I cannot get into. An older "friend" had promised my dad part-time employment that would allow them both to complete their education. Within a year, my mom got pregnant (I said they were foolish). Due to complications during pregnancy, my mom spent two months in hospital prior to my birth. It was at then that the "friend" turned out to be a scheming bastard. Upshot - my dad was penniless, without a job or degree and saddled with my mom's hospital bills. A friend - a genuine one - got my dad a place in the slums in South Delhi. At first, my dad figured it would be a few months, maybe a year. It took 12 years.

Initially, they had planned to send my mom and me to stay somewhere with relatives while my dad got his degree and a job. My mom did not like this at all, and in a few months she and I moved in to the slums with dad. For a few years, my mom and I had several medical issues that often needed hospitalization. Because my mom did not want to just leave me in the "jhuggi", she could only take on low-paying work (she did not go back to college until I was 7). I was a big drain on their finances - my parents insisted on sending me to a "good" school. It was run by catholic missionaries, and the fees were reasonable by middle-class standards, but not for us. They also insisted on regular doctor visits and had to buy me stuff (uniforms, books) that were basically priced for middle-class folk. Were it not for this, we could have been out of the slum years earlier.

Anyhow, my dad completed his degree, did well at work and by the time I was 12, we were able to move out to a rented one-bedroom place in a middle-class neighbourhood. In all that turbulence of moving, our new situation did not sink in until a few days later. I will never forget this one incident - our new furniture had arrived, and due to a screw-up, they needed to take back the sofa. My mom explained this to my dad when he returned from work, explaining that they would take another 3-4 days to send the sofa. They stared at each other for a minute, and then fell into each other's arms, laughing and crying uncontrollably.

Today (18 years later), both my parents (with master's degrees in economics) hold reasonably well-paid corporate jobs. They're certainly not rich, but they get by - they bought an apartment recently. I work as a s/w engineer in the Pacific Northwest of the US.

There's so much more I could say, but I will leave it for your questions. Fire away."

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


I have no idea what to say about this one. It didnt exactly start out normal, because I was pulling a weird face. Then I remembered I hadn't used colour in a while, so this resulted.

I dunno.

Except, this time I have spent sketching people in the streets and on the bus, I have realised how cool it would be to just chat to everyone. So I shall make it my goal to get a really nice conversation going with at least one stranger per day.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Symmetry!


My face isn't very symmetrical, so I felt like I should draw it as though it was incredibly symmetrical, and then I realised my other two portraits weren't colourful. So I made myself green.

Some little things I learned today. Bus drivers are only ever super duper grumpy, or rad as hell. Look away from the guy that is a metre away from me on the bus and keeps staring right at me - and of course I learned about leaving the white spaces in advance for watercolour drawings (even though this isn't watercolour)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Jittery


Welp.

I honestly dont know what to say about this one, except that I had a seriously tough time getting it to look like me (crazy pen went everywhere) - so instead I end up looking like a wiggle man with a much bigger chin than I

Saturday, April 3, 2010

A Quickie


I was feeling quite positive today, and I also just realised how much I like simple stuff. So I made this simple picture.

simplesimplesimplesimplesimplesimplesimple

Also, I have realised I dont mind how many people do or dont read this blog (no-one so far!) because I kind of like it that way. I'm also examining my reasoning for this, because maybe im just doing this because I'm afraid of what people will think? Or maybe I just like this like its a personal diary someone just might stumble upon one day.

Oh and about my sketchbook, ill make sure to upload that later, my scanner is still broken so im borrowing one soon. I will chuck those pictures in a seperate post.

Friday, April 2, 2010


and so! Today I felt French. I was French (and I rocked a mean French mo' ).

Which in turn has left me looking towards some specific reasons for my procrastination. I have indeed identified the internet (curse you internet!) as a huuuuuuge reason, and gaming. So I have simply given myself time limits, and set myself the new way of thinking (I kinda like this :D ) - whenever I'm procrastinating from something, I procrastinate to something else I was procrastinating.

So if I stop painting something I'm meant to be painting, then ill go fill out that paperwork I meant to fill out, or reply to those emails I was meant to.
So far so good!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Yucky picture!

Ugh, dont like this one. Ugly image, and I was feeling very rusty today. Simple as that. My art was feeling crap, came out crap.

However! my piece of inspiration and 'learning' for today is from a 'stopping procrastination' book. It seems I go with 3 kinds of procrastination. So from now on I shall no longer say I am a procrastinator, but someone who procrastinates too often, and can stop it.

I totally agree with this as I have changed myself immense amounts over the past 3 years. So I believe with the same willpower I can change my habits.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Jason Manley


Okay today I want to post one of my all time favourite inspirational quotes by Jason Manley. Its less of a quote, and more of a post on a forum, but still inspiring nonetheless.

As for the self portrait, I have decided to keep things like 'time spent' and 'emotion felt' off the picture itself, and instead put them in the post. So for todays one it was 41 minutes long, and I had a really really bad headache. Like, head splitting.

So here is the Jason Manley post.

"first, you are not trapped in your situation. You can get out of any situation you want if you are willing to take the pain of doing all the things you dont want to do..the long hard way. The fruitful way.

At seventeen I was homeless and orphaned, taking care of my fourteen year old brother who I somehow managed to keep in school. I had dropped out of school. I did two years of wasting time eventually trying to get my head on straight. At nineteen I was homeless again. Scraped together enough money to get my ass to arizona to study art. Got a temp apt to get me through to the end of the month and took a job at subway (applied all over til I found something). The subway job paid enough money to sometimes eat and pay my small studio rental. I went back to school to get my graduation and was working full time (thought I needed to graduate from HS to get into a good college). Trust me...it was fucking painful. I transferred to a community college the following year and slowly got better and better jobs. Worked telemarketing fundraising to afford a 1977 datsun and art supplies. Shittiest job ever but paid double what subway did. Worked three jobs during the summer to get caught up including going to alaska to work the salmon docks across the country. I did not give a shit what it was, if it paid for my goals to be met and didnt involve anything illegal, I did it.

As time went on I realized I needed to arrange my priorities again. I took a night time job so I could exhaust all my energies in my art and studies. Eventually got a job at AT&T...Att this is Jason how may I help you?...I was still far behind those who had life handed to them their whole life. However, I was catching up. In time I realized it was not a chase against others but to only my own race to my goals. Kept the nose down. Chose friends who worked on art or learning always. Ignored the time wasting folk who never will amount to anything other than regular. Grew up around enough of those to realize the difference. After three and a half years I took my first art job and quit my shit job...have lived with and from art ever since.

By the time I was 29 I had achieved every goal I had reached for when I first set out. That is when I realized it was time to set new goals...each time this happens it feels like starting over...get something done..start again...in time your life becomes what you want it to be. Even those of money have to do this if their life involves learning, skill, and growth. It is not money that holds people back...is just their own mind.

The hard part about certain situations is not everyone is told they can do and reach their goals if they just work their ass off starting RIGHT NOW. Some know it and wont work for whatever reason. They listen to that voice that says I want to chill and watch tv or i dont feel like it. Others have addictions or mental issues keeping them from growing and learning. I didnt want to be any of that. I wanted to do cool stuff...to have an interesting life...and to work in a creative way.

Hard manual labor growing up taught me that my mind would rot if I chose that kind of path. I wanted something to use my mind. Bored if not...and with boredom comes making trouble or distraction. Gotta turn that into work ethic...no choice. Carl Dobsky was telling me this about the atelier every day. It has to be just uncomfortable enough to make the coolest thing to do be art. If there is a blaring tv or anything else, than there are other options. Options that keep one from not working to reach their goals.

Complacency is the womb of mediocrity. You clearly are not complacent. So do something about it in every free second of your day. All this wandering around doing not a whole lot but thinking isn't getting you much done. It is however, giving you a taste of life many others would never have the guts to explore. Just dont stay down there too long without coming up for air.



Good luck,



Jason"

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Lets get started

Well, time to get my blog going methinks. Over the course of the next few weeks (and hopefully for a long time past) I will be updating this blog based on a uni assigment I wrote for myself. Which requires me to create at least one self portrait per day, a set amount of time spent sketching in my moleskine, and of course collecting together any info or quotes I feel help better my work and life.

Currently my computer has gone to crap so I am typing this on my terrible little laptop (which somehow runs photoshop) so I will upload all the ones from my previous week when I get it back up.

As for today though before I head off to help my mate out, here is one I managed to whip out on my laptop.